heads off.

yes, i'm the guy who sometimes has that urge to ruin christmas by running through the mall yelling how the guy in the funny suit and the big white beard is just that, a guy in a suit. it's just an urge, i don't actually follow through with it, i'd just like to see all the little kids frantically start tugging on their parents pockets with the looming questions and the dumbfounded look on all the mom and dad's faces. that look of holy shit, what lie will get me out of this lie. well today i'm spoiling the party and revealing that the state farm Good Neigh Bear is really just a guy. so is Bookie the Bear sitting next to him, and Lou E. Loon, and the easter bunny, and jolly ol' st. nick. but if i sound like an old grump it's because i miss the days when i believed in these fictitious gods and i too will someday con my kid into believing.